Bio For Dating App For Girl
Downloading a dating app is the easy part. What’s not easy is sweating over the pictures that best represent you (or the ones you want to present to hundreds of single women). It’s also not easy to painstakingly craft a bio that’s equal parts informative and humorous. But toughest of all? Coming up with that. Dating Profile Example # 3: Movie quote. Referencing movies or tv shows is a really great way to engage on a dating app. Even though you’re strangers, you’re already connected through this shared social consciousness, so swipers will automatically feel positively towards you. Whether you’re using a top online dating site like eHarmony, a smaller niche dating site, or one of the best dating apps of the year—writing the perfect dating profile is not as easy as it sounds. The fact that you’re here with us, though, probably means we don’t need to tell you that one.
You may think you’re a pro when it comes to online dating and your dating apps, but I think there’s always more to be learned. For instance, there’s a lot of factors, right? Think about it — aside from choosing profile pictures that best represent you, there’s what to say in your online dating profile. While pictures are important — and maybe some people (okay, a lot) seem to swipe right based on pictures alone — words are, too. Some think “a picture’s worth a thousand words,” but they do not always tell the whole story.
“It can be so easy to just look at pictures on your dating app and swipe right,” Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, tells Bustle. “You’re in a flow, and they’re so attractive. What could possibly go wrong? But you’ll actually save yourself time, frustration, and potentially disastrous messaging/dating later if you’ve taken the time to read their profile from the get-go. Otherwise, you risk missing critical information like, ‘In an open relationship. Wanna join us for some fun?’ or ‘Just out of prison. Let’s do this!’ There are a lot of very attractive, but undateable, people out there.”
Yes, there are people who don’t write anything in the “bio” section. But several dating experts I spoke to recommend filling in the blanks. I used to write people’s dating profiles, and I’m telling you — having one makes a huge difference, i.e., more well-suited matches. Below, you’ll find what you should write in your online dating profile, according to the pros.
1. List Your End-Goal For “Why” You’re Dating
“The partner who knows what they want is the partner who’ll get what they want. Far too often, we enter dating without stating our true desires. We wrongly assume that will reap greater results. Yes, it will open your profile to more interest — but not to the type of person you want to date. Without your end-goal clearly stated, your prospective partners will have a greater opportunity to push their agenda. Don’t be afraid to say what you want upfront. Our ‘why’s — i.e., ‘I want to date and have fun,’ ‘I’m looking for a committed relationship,’ or ‘Looking to marry and start a family’ — need to be in sync with those we date. It saves time, energy, and a battle of wills.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
2. Include Info That Will Start Conversations
“A lot of individuals need to have fodder to make conversation. It’s very difficult for people sometimes to put themselves forward and try to make that first move. Tinder’s double opt-in makes the process of understanding whether another person is interested in you incredibly transparent and efficient. Making the first move and initiating a conversation still may not be easy for some people because they may not be naturally confident engaging in conversations with new people. For some, thin information may feed the lack of confidence because they don’t know how or where to begin a conversation. By providing a bio, you are including information that matches can easily draw upon to get a conversation going.” — Tinder Sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino
3. Show, Don’t Tell
“Paint snapshots of your life rather than listing adjectives and your likes. Who are you and what is the essence of your life and hobbies that you want to convey? Plenty of people claim to be an adventurous lover of life who loves to travel. Give them a visual of how this is true: ‘Packed a bag and met my friend in Japan with 24 hours’ notice!’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
4. Include Your “Must Have”s
“Don’t be afraid of openly stating who and what you are. It will all be revealed in time, anyway. Might as well start from the best position possible. Give your prospective dates a true idea of how you live your life. Include information about the kind of hobbies, interests, and values that define your personality. Being your partner means being in agreement with your day-to-day lifestyle. Stating important truths up front will aid your ability to match with the type of ‘resonant others’ you’d like to date.
If you’re a dedicated athlete, that means you live a healthy lifestyle. You won’t want to waste time with someone who loves clubbing till 4 a.m. when you’re getting up to run each morning at 5 a.m. If you’re newly sober, include the fact that living a clean lifestyle is important to you, and that you neither drink nor take drugs. If you follow a specific religion or spiritual path that defines your daily lifestyle, that’s also important information to share. This can also include your sexual preferences for expression. If you know your sexual lifestyle dictates a specific type of partner, don’t be subtle. State your needs clearly to avoid future conflict.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
5. Be Upfront About Your Relationship Status & What You Want
“If you’re interested in hookups, don’t contact people who don’t have that included in their profiles. The likelihood of you not getting a response is about 95 percent.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Your online dating profile is a great opportunity to do some of the work that dating in person would normally do if you didn’t meet online. In other words, you can use your online profile to filter for what you do and don’t want. For instance, if you’re looking for someone who’s not separated, but truly divorced, say so. Lots of people think they’re single because they’re living alone, but the reality is they’re separated and have been for years with no divorce paperwork in the process. Ask now! Save yourself some time, energy and money.” — April Masini, aka “Ask April,” New York–based relationship expertand author
“My friend began a serious relationship with a man who stated he wanted a ‘calm’ woman. She tried in earnest to amend herself for him, but what he really wanted was a seriously committed submissive. She broke off the engagement and he was stuck with having bought a home for them.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
6. Be Honest
'Whatever your current life circumstances are, just be honest about it. Ultimately, the person you want to be with will be supportive.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Eventually you’re going to meet and date this person, so don’t lie about yourself, your hobbies, or skills. No one wants to plan a date for a ‘surf lover,’ only to discover that person can’t swim.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
7. Be Positive
“Keep your wording positive, confident, and succinct. At best, you get about 10 seconds to wow your perspective sweetheart. If you fill that space with negative language, what you’re not looking for in a partner, arrogance, or long, run-on sentences, you’ll be dateless.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
8. Show Your Sense Of Humor
“I encourage a sense of humor, something that makes your reader smile and think, not just wonder if there is attraction or not. Remember, a good match doesn’t make us feel great — we feel great because we feel great around them. If I’m smiling to myself because of what they say or write, imagine how great I’ll feel in their presence!” — Jeffrey Sumber, MA, MTS, LCPC, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Renew Your Wows!
9. Avoid Clichés
“Clichés are overused in life, but even more so in dating profiles. What makes you different and interesting? Play that up, keeping it fresh and unique to stand out from the easy-going, glass-half-full crowd looking for their ‘partner-in-crime.’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
After all, the more you know about someone, the more you’ll have to go on when trying to see if the person would be a good fit for you.
Images: Fotolia, Giphy
Hi Em,
How do you 'cold call'? That is to say, send a message with basically NOTHING to go on. Sometimes a girl’s OkCupid profile is so minimal – and apps like Tinder create this problem all the time. I read your article on messaging, but I don't believe it covers this particular issue.
Skylar
Skylar, this is a great question! Minimal profiles are the worst. They’re also a bit of a gamble. Here’s why:
If a girl doesn’t bother to fill out her online dating profile, it could mean one of two things:
1) She doesn’t care about online dating, so she isn’t making an effort to succeed at it with a profile.
2) She’s so hot that she doesn’t need to write a profile. She gets messages from guys constantly, just because she’s attractive. She doesn’t need to do anything and she’s still got the pick of the litter.
Of course, it’s also possible that:
3) She’s new to OkCupid and hasn’t filled out her profile yet.
But odds are in favor of (1) or (2). That’s why smart guys don’t spend the majority of their time messaging girls whose inboxes are flooded or who don’t care about online dating.
Your efforts are better spent making genuine connections by messaging girls whose profiles prove you’d be a good fit for each other.
That being said, a cold call every once in while won’t do any harm…
1) Ignore the Superficial
Online dating sites (and apps like Tinder) are about quick first impressions and starting conversations.
Dating Bio For Women
In a cold call situation, most guys fail on both accounts. They lack the creativity to come up with anything interesting to say, and go with general openers or comment on a girl’s looks only: “How’s your night going?” or 'Gorgeous photos..I'd like to know more about u…..'
You’ll make a better first impression – and increase your odds of a reply – if you ignore her appearance and “how are you?” platitudes. Make a real attempt to get a real conversation started right off the bat.
How?
2) Scour Her Profile for Conversation Topics
Take a quick inventory of what you DO have to work with. Most guys will ignore the tiny bits of information that a bare bones profile provides – but any kernel of information can be gold!
Even a mostly empty profile on OkCupid could tell you a girl’s city, at minimum. If you’re lucky, maybe she also filled out the Basic Info section with her diet, job, or if she has pets.
NOTE: try to avoid using Basic Info like religion, income, and drinking/drug habits. Those can be controversial or super personal, and might make her hesitate to reply.
Specific info in her pictures can also be fair game – as long as your message focuses on a unique detail that not everyone could note as special.
For example, maybe she's wearing an old Weezer t-shirt. Maybe she's at Platform 9 3/4. Those are great to comment on; not everyone is into those things. Meanwhile, tons of guys could write, 'Hey, I love the beach, too.'
Your first message's goal is to start a conversation on a subject that sets you apart from other guys.
How?
3) Ask Her A Question
Use that little gold nugget you found and ask her a question about it that inquires about her thoughts, opinions, or feelings.
Since the only goal is to come up with a question that asks for her opinion, let this take the pressure off crafting the “perfect” first message.
There are lots of things to ask when you know a simple fact about a person and don’t care about saying something “perfect.” Just brainstorm for 30 seconds and go with it!
For example, let’s say she’s filled out her Basic Info on OkCupid, and her diet is “Strictly Vegetarian.”
How To Write A Good Bio For A Dating App
Your first message could ask any of the following:
“Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. I’ve been mostly pescatarian for the past 5 years. What’s your favorite meal to cook for yourself?”
“Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. I’m always curious to hear the reason people choose that – ethics, health, etc. What was it for you?”
“Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Have you ever been to X Restaurant? Their veggie burgers are actually incredible!”
“Hey, I’m a vegetarian, too! 5 years. How long for you?”
“Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Ever considered going full vegan? I thought about it, but I’d miss cheese too much :) What would you miss?”
“Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Me too, 5 years. I do miss bacon sometimes…but I’ve held strong! What do you miss the most?”
None of these messages will win any literary awards, but they ask a question about something you know she’s got an opinion on.
Then, don’t stress out beyond that. Knowing she might be a girl from category (1) or (2), just give it a quick shot and move on.
Conclusion
It’s frustrating to try to message girls whose online dating profiles provide nothing to go on. While it’s a better use of your time to focus on girls whose profiles prove you’ve got lots in common, a cold call every now and then can be worth it.
Increase your chances of getting a reply with a first message that stays away from superficial topics. Instead, pick out any bit of info that her profile does share and quickly write a question about it that asks for her thoughts or opinions.
With your interest in her thoughts (not her looks) and your ability to start a conversation out of nothing – you just might succeed where other men have failed!